For the scholar on a budget: PHG

Extra, extra! Read all about it! Famed archeologist Notre Latedto Anyonetrademarked excavated an underground temple! And what did she find? A pit of dangerously adorable kittens. (Kittens. Why’d it have to be kittens? She HATES kittens!) Also, she found rare sunglass artifacts known to ancient civilizations as PHGs. You may not like these pedantic frames, but she doesnt care. She wants Artifacts, Not Artifeelings. (SAME. Excavators are our motivators.)

1. NO SLIP:special grip coatinghelps eliminate slippage when sweating.

2. NO BOUNCE:its distinguished double nose-bridge feature is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout.

3. ALL POLARIZED:Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protectionblocks harmful UVA and UVB rays.

4. NO DISSERTATION:No one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.